Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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