Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
