i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
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