Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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