im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
