I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
