There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
