why im i the only drunk person in the library?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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