The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize