Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize