i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
