just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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