: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Sorry about my life...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
