We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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