You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
