I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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