I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
