ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize