I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
bring money and cleavage
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
