he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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