Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize