Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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