When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
