Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
