This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
