They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize