she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
