Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
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