Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
