I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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