No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
