I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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