Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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