There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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