went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
