i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
is this the sara with the beer cane?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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