I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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