try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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