He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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