quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize