Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
