I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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