Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Randomize
