when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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