That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
its not stalking. its research.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
