Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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