No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize