So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
