He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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