she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
