whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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