You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
