what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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