Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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