I feel like abortions should bother me more
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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