my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Just puked most of my soul out..
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