Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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