I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
