my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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