In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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