I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize