I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Randomize
