hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
