my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
