guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
