We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
