Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize