my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
