Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
