Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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