whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
