I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
