my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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